Trapped
by EternusX229
Summary: They had been together for 10 years now and never had this happened to them. What was he doing wrong? Maybe he was really seeing someone else.
1. Trapped

"Are you not in love me with me anymore?" He asked with a frown on his face. The closed eyed man simply shook his head. Arms around him tightening as they held him from behind.

"Why would you think that?" A pair of lips pressed against his nape and he sighed contently.

The calloused hands that were accustomed to the tennis lifestyle simply held him in fear and he could feel the slight tremble around him. "You've been distant lately." He heard the other whisper almost as if he didn't want to say it. "Fuji, is there someone else?" At this, the man he was hugging simply sat up, arms falling to the others side.

He was annoyed that Tezuka had even questioned him on the matter. "Do you want there to be?" He said bluntly, a tinge of annoyance spilling out of his lips as those words left them.

Tezuka sat up and looked at the blurry figure in front of him, his glasses resting on the bedside table. "No." He could see the other staring at him, was that anger he saw? He felt the weight on the bed lighten as Fuji got up. He was collecting his clothes from the floor. "Where are you going?"

Putting his briefs on, "I'm sleeping on the couch." Fuji replied and turned to Tezuka whose eyes were now averted to the bed. "I want you to really think about what you just asked me. Especially after what we just did and you still think that." With that he left the room.

Within the past few days, he had been busy at work and was barely home. He was stressed, annoyed and possibly close to over exhausting himself. He had never had so many clients in one week and not that he wasn't grateful that his company was striving but his boyfriend didn't seem to understand at all. For once he wanted to actually be apart from him.

He sighed sitting on the couch and thought it over. Was he really being cold to the man loved? It wasn't on purpose. He placed a hand on his head and laid down on the couch. He was cold…

Fuji woke up to someone shaking him and quickly opened his eyes. He was staring at his boyfriend and became thoroughly confused. Did he not sleep on the couch last night?

"Syuusuke, you'll be late to work." Tezuka said with worry on his face. Fuji sat up and looked at the clock, _7:35_ it read.

He stood up almost head butting Tezuka in the face and ran to the bedroom. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!" He yelled running to the bathroom with undergarments in his hand.

Tezuka scratched the back of his head a little confused. "I tried but you wouldn't wake up and then you started talking in your sleep." Fuji looked at him a little annoyed and simply closed the door. Tezuka sighed and sat on the couch. What was he doing wrong? He wondered staring at the ceiling. They had been together for 5 years now and never had this happened to them. Maybe he really was seeing someone else. Maybe they were giving him what he couldn't. Was it because he was unemployed? He sighed again and stood up. _Maybe I should look for a job_ He thought grabbing the newspaper from yesterday.

He had been traveling just until a few months ago, going from tournament to tournament. After his time in Germany and his time as a pro tennis player, he had re injured his arm playing an american muscle headed tennis player at the French Open. Fuji had insisted to him, actually begged for him to forfeit the game but he reminded him that he wasn't that kind of player. They didn't speak for a few days afterward.

While he was hospitalized for his conditioned, the doctor told him it would be better for him to take a year off. To this Tezuka refused immediately, he was close to winning his first Grand Slam but the doctor had told him, not unless he wanted surgery that he needed the time off to recuperate. Fuji immediately agreed for him and Tezuka no longer had a say.

And that's how he spent most of his days, home, waiting for his boyfriend. He would sometimes go out to a coffee shop nearby and read while drinking tea or exercise but he wanted to be on the courts.

Maybe Fuji didn't want him anymore because he was useless to him now. He wasn't on the big screen anymore. He shook his head and told himself Fuji wasn't that kind of person. He heard the door close and out came out a very naked Fuji and he stood up. "You'll get sick like that." Fuji ignored him, sliding on his briefs and hurried to put on his pants. "Do you need some help? Do you want me to call a cab?" He asked walking to the bedroom to retrieve his cellphone.

"I don't need it. Nagasaki-san is picking me up. I called him already."

 _From the bathroom?_ "Ah...okay. I'll get your bag then." Tezuka said once again heading to the room. He heard Fuji click his tongue and he stopped. He turned around and looked at Fuji. _Did I say something wrong?_

Fuji brushed past him, leaving him dumbfounded. "I won't be home tonight so don't wait for me." Fuji said putting his shirt on. Tezuka frowned and grabbed a towel putting it on his boyfriend's head. "Can you not?!" Fuji yelled pushing him. Tezuka looked at him shocked and regained his composure.

He placed his hands on the towel that rested on Fuji's head and began drying his hair. Fuji looked down and resumed to buttoning his shirt. "Okay. I won't...wait for you." He heard Tezuka whisper. He felt his chest ache at the sudden turn of events. He had never yelled at Tezuka and he knew the sudden outburst had hurt him. Suddenly arms wrapped around him, gentle, powerful and sad. He felt lips against his towel covered head and placed a hand on Tezuka's bare chest while closing his eyes. "I love you. Take care and be safe." With that, Tezuka walked away taking the towel with him and went into the bathroom, closing the door, _Click_

Fuji stood where he was and placed his hand on his chest. _He never locks the door_ He slowly walked to the door and stood outside placing a hand against it. "Mitsu…" Fuji said in a whisper.

Tezuka was leaning against the sink, his chest in pain and his head pounding. He wanted the other to leave already. He heard Fuji call him from outside the bathroom door and straightened up. He was about to open the door when he heard Fuji's ringtone go off.

"Ah, I'm coming right now." Fuji said into the receiver. He sighed and with one last glance at the door he left the apartment. Tezuka opened the door after hearing the apartment door close and leaned against the wall, sliding down placing his hand on his face. With one leg bent he rest his forehead against it and willed himself to relax, begging the pain to go away.

Fuji began tearing up on his way to the elevator and rushed it to come up faster. "Oh Fuji-senpai!" He heard his coworker call him from the car that was waiting for him in front the apartment complex. He got in and fixed himself. "Are you okay?" Nagasaki-san asked concerned.

He put his seatbelt on and pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Yes, I'm okay. Let's hurry." He said with a big smile. As they drove off he looked at his apartment window and with looked away, sadness taking over him.

"I'm sorry, but are you guys hiring?" The clerk behind the desk with black and glasses looked taken aback but smiled. "I know this is sudden," Tezuka said. "But I'm actually in need of a job."

Kouta looked at him and chuckled a little. "But you're a pro tennis player aren't you? There's no way you'd want to work here, Tezuka-san." Kouta looked back at him realizing the man who never showed any sort of emotion was now frowning and staring at the cup in front of him. "Ah, but I can ask my manager."

Tezuka looked at him and stood up, bowing "Thank you very much."

Kouta raised his hands, "Ah please there's no need to thank me yet." He chuckled and patted Tezuka on his shoulder. "I'll be right back." He said walking away.

He sat down and resumed drinking his tea looking through the magazine he had brought with him. If he could find a job maybe he would also be able to distract himself from the problems at home.

The stack of papers were placed on his desk and he looked up at Nagasaki who looked concerned at the paperwork he had just put down. "I'm sorry Fuji-senpai but these are the papers you asked of me earlier. You said you wanted all of our recent client's information."

Fuji mentally cursed at himself and smiled at his coworker. "Yes, thank you."

The short haired man with surprisingly dull yet handsome looking features walked over to the door and closed it. Fuji resumed transferring over the information into the database he had on his computer. Looks like he really wasn't going home tonight. Fuji had only said that because he didn't want to be around Tezuka right now. He was thinking of renting a hotel room for the night. He sighed and closed his eyes. He wanted things to go back to how they were

"Um, Fuji-senpai," He heard and looked up slightly startled. He tilted his head and looked at Nagasaki who was standing against the door. _Didn't he just leave?_ "I wanted to ask you something." He said looking down. Fuji raised an eyebrow in question. "Uhm, I know this might seem sudden and quite frank very inappropriate but, is everything okay at home?" Fuji looked at him blankly and tried his best not to look surprised at the sudden question.

He chuckled and sat back against his computer chair making it creak a little. "This is very sudden." He replied trying not to be swayed by the topic.

Nagasaki fixed his tie and looked up as Fuji now stood up from his chair, slowly making his way around. "N-no...well…" Fuji walked towards him and he began to tremble. He knew that Fuji was like a storm. One minute he was calm, the next he wasn't. He wasn't easy to anger but he was easy to annoy even though most people thought otherwise. After working with him for so long he could pick up on the subtle changes in the smiling man. Every smile meant something different. If he was angry, he would show his piercing blue eyes, if he was annoyed his smile would become wider, when he was genuinely happy, the atmosphere around him would become overall lighter. "It's just that you've actually made some mistakes. O-Of course these mistakes I've fixed before handing them into the registry. But it's not like you senpai."

Fuji was now standing in front of him, watching his longtime worker trembling in fear brought some joy into his very chaotic life. "Hmm, so I suppose you're saying I should thank you." He said with a smile. Nagasaki simply shook his head. "Then what is it you want me to do about these little slip ups of mine?" He said with a sudden frown, placing a finger to his lips in thought.

"I'm just saying that maybe, if you'd like, you can try relying on me about certain things. I-I know he must be a handful." Fuji revealed his blue eyes hearing Nagasaki mention what he only assumed was Tezuka. "You're going out with that tennis player right?" Nagasaki asked with much caution. Fuji sighed and walked back to his desk. "I've heard he can be a handful, from various interviews and such. I just know it must be tough for you sometimes especially since you're usually here.I'm not against that kind of lifestyle but I can only imagine how hard it must be for you senpai"

He sat down in his chair and placed a hand on his head. "I don't have time for this right now. I'm sorry I've worried you but if that's all could you please leave?"

Nagasaki looked at Fuji and then looked down. "Very well." He said slightly upset. This time the door closed and Fuji looked up to confirm the other's departure.

"I really need some downtime." He whispered resuming his gaze to the computer.

Tezuka frowned and looked at the man he would often see behind the counter as he explained the mechanics of the espresso machine. He looked down at his waist and his frown deepened staring at the black apron. It didn't seem hard but it was all so very new to him. "Well then Tezuka-san that's the basics. Why not try something small and steam some milk to make a latte?" He nodded and looked at the man's elegant hands grabbing the the milk pitcher. He sort of reminded him of Fuji in a way. He was very kind, gentle and patient with him despite his lack of emotion.

He looked somewhat foreign so earlier when they had officially met as coworkers, he had asked him if he was just working overseas. "Oh no, I've lived here all my life. My father is from Europe though. That's why I have a European name but you can just call me Mika." He said with a big smile. He was a blonde long haired man that was half japanese, half italian. He had green eyes and a somewhat small nose that complimented his slight feminine features. He was gorgeous and very elegant looking.

Tezuka grabbed the pitcher from him, pouring milk into it and placed the steaming wand inside the pitcher. He pulled the lever and the milk splashed all over his face and shirt. "Ah, you didn't put it in right." Mika laughed and took a rag out from his apron pocket and wiped the milk off his face. Tezuka stood there a little shocked at the sudden mess he had made and a vein pulsated on one side. This was going to be hard. "It's okay. It happens from time to time." Mika said still chuckling and looked at Tezuka who let go of the pitcher placing it on the table in front of him. Mika took off his glasses and Tezuka looked at him now realizing that this elegant, grown man, with gorgeous features was wiping his face. He became embarrassed and grabbed the rag from him.

"I-I'm sorry, I'll do it." Mika laughed and patted his head. He looked away and began dabbing away the milk on his shirt. "I guess I'm going to need some practice." Tezuka said with a frown.

Mika's eyes widened a little and he chuckled again. "I didn't think I'd ever see you frown, rather, have any emotion Tezuka-san." Tezuka looked at him and then looked away feeling his wounded heart skip a beat. "Well that's fine. I'm here to help if anything. Feel free to ask me for anything." He said with a smile handing him his glasses. "It hardly gets busy here but we manage somehow. I'm sure now that there's a handsome man behind the counter many people will come though. so be prepared." He brought his hand up in a fist and patted his bicep. "I'll be ready then."

Tezuka couldn't help but smile at the man's positivity and nodded.

After a long, or what he considered long day at work, he sighed taking off his apron and resumed to help Mika close up shop. "You know Tezuka-san, would you care for some drinks? The others are going out as well, so why not tag a long as a welcome to the family?" His eyes shining with joy at the sudden realization that the great Tezuka Kunimitsu was part of their store. Tezuka smiled and folded his apron. "Of course, only if you're up to it." he heard the other man say grabbing a chair and flipping upside placing it on the table. Tezuka smiled at the offer and declined. "Aw c'mon. It'll be fun I promise. Plus we won't be out too late. I'll make you get home safe and sound." Tezuka stared at Mika who was now in front of him with hands up, almost as if in prayer.

 _Fuji won't be home tonight so maybe one night out won't hurt_ "Okay. I'll accompany you." Mika looked up and smiled wide, hugging him. He took a step back surprised and patted Mika on the back with a smile. _What an energetic guy_


	2. Struggle

Opening the door to the his apartment, he found it dark. He tilted his head turning the lights on. "Tadaima." He announced. _Was he sleeping?_ Fuji shrugged off his bag and took his shoes off, entering the house and looked for signs of Tezuka. He glanced at the clock. It was already 2 am. He had originally planned at staying at the office tonight but assuming Nagasaki saw the amount of stress on him, he decided to help him with his paperwork. He resolved to making it up to him later. But where could Tezuka be at this time?

He made his way to the fridge and took out a bottle of water. Padding his way to the couch he sat down with worry on his face as he began dialing the number he knew by heart. He looked down at the coffee table and saw the newspaper opened at the employment page and he nearly choked. What was his stupid boyfriend thinking looking for a job? He glanced at the clock and frowned. He should be home by now. No place would be open aside from bars this late at night.

 _Brrrinng Brrrinng Brrrinng_

" _Ah hello?"_

Fuji's eyes widened at the stranger's voice on the other end. "Who is this?"

" _I'm sorry, ah wait Tezuka-san! It's for you! No no, hey what're you doing!?" Click_

His hands trembled and he dropped his phone on the couch. His head began pounding and he placed the bottle of water on the table. What did he just hear? It sounded like a crowded place. He sighed and picked his phone up once more afraid of the outcome, he dialing the number again but it went straight to voicemail. Fuji groaned and slouched onto the couch. Tezuka wasn't the cheating type. Far from it. He was a very loyal man. But what if he had pushed him into becoming unfaithful? Tears dared themselves to fall from his face but he closed his eyes and rubbed them with the back of his hand, tainting it with watermarks. Soon he covered his face with both hands he slumped back onto the backrest and he couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. "What's happening to us?" he whispered between parted lips.

He so wanted to be with him right now. He played back the incident that happened this morning and looked at the ceiling as if he'd find some sort of answer. He knew that he had hurt Tezuka after he yelled at him. He had never raised his voice and neither had Tezuka. They had gotten into arguments but none that merited them raising their voices to one another. He recalled a time they didn't speak due to Tezuka's stubbornness and scoffed at the whole idea of the memory while the tears kept falling.

If they could overcome mere issues like those they could overcome this as well. He truly believed in their relationship. They loved each other and he knew that full well so what the hell was Tezuka doing?

He laid down onto the couch silently crying to himself _Please come home_

When he woke up it took him a few minutes realizing he wasn't home. Everything was new to him and it was most definitely not his room nor living room where he laid. He blinked a few times to clear his groggy mind and sat up. The blanket that was on him slid off his chest leaving his bare chest exposed. His eyes widening at his current state, he reached for his glasses but couldn't find them anywhere. His vision impaired, making everything impossible to make out. His hand reached over and he touched something soft and velvety like. He down at the source to find a figure sleeping next to him. He jumped out of bed, tripping onto his own foot and fell with a light thud. He looked towards the bed in horror and the man in bed turned, still sleeping. He mouthed out, _Mika!_ He brought a hand up to the blanket that only seconds ago was on him as well and trembled as he went to grab it. If he was naked, dear god don't let him be naked. What if he was naked!?

He lifted the blanket and to his relief he wasn't but he was wearing nothing but black briefs. Tezuka let out a breath he didn't know was holding in. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he did find him naked in bed with another man other than Fuji. Furthermore how would he ever come to forgive himself. At the sudden loss of warmth from the blanket that laid on him minutes ago he looked down and he too was also only in his boxers. His face turned red and looked at Mika. He was truly gorgeous. He was taut and his skin was flawless, his curves accentuated his body well. He wanted to touch him but immediately shook his head out of the stupidity that was slowly making it's way into it.

He needed to leave. Immediately.

He began collecting his clothes as it was all over the floor and began dressing himself. "Tezuka-san?" He heard that soft voice still groggy with sleep call out to him. He ignored him and lifted his arms up sliding the shirt from last night on. The bed creaked a little and Mika was now sitting up rubbing his eyes. His long blonde hair falling down his shoulders, almost like a golden blanket. His hair shined against the sunlight coming from the window of the room. "My, I didn't know you were such an adorable drunk." He heard Mika chuckle. "Well, I did see something rather incredible so I guess it's a secret between us." Tezuka turned to look Mika, his fingers running through that long, soft, golden hair.

"I'm sorry if I was a burden to everyone last night."

Mika chuckled bending his knee up and wrapped his arm around it, laying his head against it, watching every movement Tezuka did to put on his pants. Those muscles flexing through his shirt. A smile formed on his lips and narrowed his green eyes at him. "Well, you put on quite a great facade around the others except me." Tezuka stopped in his tracks. "You're very touchy Tezuka-san. Well, it's not like I don't like it. It's quite flattering actually." Tezuka's eyes widened. Just what exactly had he done last night? Mika bit his finger and winked at him. He quickly zipped his pants up and looked around frantically. "Are you looking for this?" Mika asked holding his glasses. Tezuka suddenly became very aware of Mika. The way his fingers played his with glasses and the way those eyes were staring at him with lust.

"If this is going to affect us at work then I'm ready to quit." Tezuka said annoyed at Mika's little games.

Mika chuckled and shook his head, "Don't worry. I don't bring personal problems to work. Besides, just like you, nobody knows that I'm into men." Tezuka walked over to him and grabbed the glasses that were in between those long fingers. Mika grabbed his wrist and pulled him down onto the bed with him making him fall on top of him. "You're very handsome Kunimitsu." Tezuka looked at Mika surprised and was about to get up but instead hands brought his face forward and he felt Mika's lips on his. He protested trying to fight him but he was stronger than he looked. He felt a hand on his now clothed manhood slowly rubbing him over his pants. He groaned just the slightest at the touch. Mika's tongue invaded his mouth, playing with his tongue and he slowly became consumed by the man beneath him when he felt teeth bite his lower lip. He pulled away harshly, panting out of breath. Mika chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. "I'll see you at work Tezuka-san." saying the last part seductively. With a thump the foreign looking man threw himself back onto the mattress.

Tezuka looked him one last time before quickly making his way for the door, finding his way out. He ran out the apartment complex and onto the streets, adjusting himself with his new surroundings. He brought a hand up to his lips, rubbing them in disgust as he walked furiously down the street. It was already 8 in the morning. He squinted his eyes against the morning sun for a second. Luckily Fuji hadn't come home last night.

Fuji slammed the door to his office making a lot his employees stare at towards his office's direction. A few heads turned to look at Nagasaki, as if he had already knew the unspoken words from them; he awkwardly smiled. He was the only one that could possible tame the sleeping lion and although they thought that, it was further from the truth. Fuji would never open up to him or at least he believed so. Nagasaki scratched the back of his head. He thought he had helped him relieve stress last night after offering him some assistance in the mountain of paperwork. After all they had left pretty early despite it all. Perhaps something had happened at home again, he thought. He sighed slightly defeated at the situation at hand and walked up to the door knocking three times, fearing for his life at whatever the outcome may be. Fuji was very unpredictable during these times. Either he was let in or completely shut himself from the world.

He waited patiently and knocked one last time.

After a long silence he was ready to turn around and walk away. "Nagasaki-san?"

He perked up. "Yes senpai. I-I would like to talk to you if that's alright." He stuttered from the other side of the door, mentally hitting himself at his lack of confidence. He heard Fuji's muffled, 'come in' and he walked in closing the door behind him, silently locking it so as not to be interrupted. Not that they would seeing as how the whole office now feared getting close to him at this very moment but just in case. He turned around and stared into puffy blue eyes. Fuji had stayed up all night crying, he assumed. "Fuji-senpai…do you want to talk about it?" He asked worried. Knowing it wasn't his place to intervene in the others relationship, he tried to orchestrate his words carefully. But nevertheless he was concerned as a friend. Fuji was nice to others and he was considerate. He always took on other people's burdens as if they were his own and it tore him seeing him in this state. Whatever had made him like this, he did not deserve it.

Fuji had on a broken smile. He had spent most of the night crying. Tezuka didn't show up last night and he stood up all night waiting for him, calling him every other hour. He realized after the strange man had picked up, every attempt afterwards was unsuccessful. It rang and rang but it seemed they had turned it off.

After a long while of thinking and trying his best to avert himself from the reality of things, Fuji had begun crying again for the hundredth time that night because he came to the conclusion that Tezuka was most likely cheating on him and the sole reason to his boyfriend's unfaithful behavior was his. He had pushed him away all because of his selfish acts, all because he decided to shun him out for not understanding his own stress. By the time he knew it, the sun was up and his alarm had already gone off twice. Feeling numb both inside and out, he made no attempt to stop the once annoying alarm clock in his bedroom and sat there contemplating whether work was worth it today. Maybe if he stood there, Tezuka would come home. But then he'd see him in this terrible state and the mere thought of seeing him made him feel worse. To know his boyfriend could've been having sex with another man...He stopped his new tears and vowed to distract himself with work.

He got into his car after showering away the sleepless night he had encountered and began driving out of the building. On his way to the office he picked up a coffee and stopped at a red light. He sighed and took a sip from his Americano and waited for the light to turn blue. The more he waited in this morning traffic the more his mind began to wander so he decided to dig through his bag.

Grabbing the file from one of his clients, he began reading it. He glanced up to see if the light had turned yet and it hadn't. He averted his eyes to the people crossing the street until he saw a familiar figure taking a turn and walking down the street. His eyes fixated on Tezuka. Face flushed, glasses crooked and clothes a mess, wiping the back of his hand with disgust. His eyes widened at the mere sight of him and he grew angry and soon the emotion subsided and he was met with a terrible pain in his chest. New tears began to form and the anger mixed in with his sadness. He wanted to get out of the car and hit him for not coming home last, for not calling him, for not being there with him.

A tear fell onto the paper in his hand and heard the cars behind him honking at him, startled, he jumped snapping out of his thoughts. He tossed the file to the passenger seat and drove off, gripping the steering wheel so tight that he felt his knuckles were about the pop through his skin. _Tezuka…._

Nagasaki sat on the chair in front of Fuji's desk and waited patiently. He had called him here so here he would wait until Fuji decided he was ready. "Nagasaki-san…" Fuji whispered, his smile breaking more and more as his mind wandered.

"Shunsuke." Tilting his head a little in confusion Fuji blinked him. "You can call me Shunsuke." Fuji chuckled and it made him smile hearing the other lighten up just a little.

"Do you mind if I stay over tonight?"

Hearing the sudden question, he smiled. Whatever it took for Fuji to be at peace if just for a split second. "Of course. You'd be more than welcomed."

Tezuka swung his door open, closing it and resting the back of his head against it. So much had happened and he didn't even know how to process everything. He could still feel Mika's lips on his and the touch of those soft hands on his face. He was so entrancing that he had been swayed for a split second. He ran a hand through his messy dark brown hair walking into the living room finding a water bottle on the table. He arched his eyebrow up with a hand holding his hair back revealing his forehead, a habit he had picked up during his summer in Australia. He slid his hand down to his chin and looked at the refrigerator then back at the coffee table. Did he forget to put that inside the fridge before he left yesterday?

His eyes widened after looking at one of the pillows that had been on the couch. He picked it up finding it wet on one side. Suddenly remembering that he might have had received a phone call last night he took out his cellphone. _Why is it off?_

After it restarted he awaited the flooding messages and probably missed phone calls from Fuji but to his dismay, there wasn't a single message nor any missed calls. Maybe he turned it off last night so that he wouldn't do anything stupid. He looked back at the pillow and bottle. Maybe he had just come back to pick up some things for the office. But why was it wet? His phone suddenly rang. An unknown number displaying itself on the screen.

"Hello?"

" _Tezuka-san?"_

Tezuka's heart skipped a beat at the voice at the other end, "Mika."

" _Ah it sounds lovely when you say my name. Just reminding you that you have to be at the shop tonight."_ Relief washed over him realizing Mika surprisingly really went by his word. The second he mentioned work his little games were pushed aside. Something about this little policy of his made feel a lot better. _I can really work with this guy_ " _Well then, I'll be seeing you at work, Tezuka-san."_ Mika said his name in a very seductive way.

He hung up and looked around the empty spacious apartment with the many photos that Fuji took on their trips... _I want to see you now more than ever_

"Tezuka-san I'm so glad you're with us now." Kouta smiled at him with a cup in hand. He nodded and looked around. "Ah he'll be going through some training with you again today so he's preparing the some paperwork for you inside the office. I'm sure he wants you there now so why not step right on in." Tezuka put on his waist apron and walked to the back.

He entered the office which wasn't really an office but more like a little locker room, luckily it was well kept. A large desk against the wall with a shelf over it. Binders and papers lined up against one another and a computer right in the middle of it. In front of it sat Mika typing in his information. Mika turned around hearing the door close and he smiled brightly at Tezuka. "Ah, welcome, welcome. Come on, sit." He said taking off what he assumed was his bag from the now vacant computer chair.

Tezuka kept a keen eye on him and sat down next to him. Mika hummed as he typed. He glanced over at the tennis player and then at the screen. "You don't have to be so tense Tezuka-san." Mika laughed. Tezuka kept his guard up nonetheless. Although he felt nothing for the man that sexually assaulted him just this morning he was sure he could be comfortable around him, at least work wise. Because just like he said, he didn't mix up personal problems with work and that was a very respectful feature to have, especially in this kind of place. "So," Mika said after a few minutes. "I added you into the system. This'll make it easy for you to clock in and out and use our registers. You're not technologically inept are you?" Mika asked concerned. Tezuka scoffed _It can't be that hard_ he thought.

Mika laughed and patted him on the shoulder, "I wouldn't expect less from you." Tezuka flinched at the sudden touch and Mika looked at him, his smile fading away for a second. He sighed. "You know Tezuka, if I really wanted to do something to you, I would. I don't really care since there are no camera in here so it would be easy for me." Mika rested his hand on his thigh and slowly ran his hand up. Tezuka flinched as he felt Mika's soft, delicate hands squeeze him briefly before letting go. "But I'm not that type of person." something in Mika's eyes had changed, a kind of longing present in them. Tezuka moved his chair away sitting a bit further. "I'm here to help you despite the urge I have to keep you to you myself."

Tezuka cleared his throat and looked at the screen. "So where do we go from here?" trying to change subjects and trying to distract himself from the annoying games Mika thought would string him along.

Mika smiled and began explaining to him what he would learn today. The more he heard it the more his head began to hurt. He wasn't mentally prepared for this. So long as he didn't have any distractions and Mika held his word he was content with where he was.


	3. Comfort

The silence filled his ears. He turned his head to distract himself of the many thoughts that entered and disrupted whatever sense of calm he had gained in the past few hours; looking at the soft glow of the lights above them. The night sky greeted them as they both continued to walk, Fuji followed his kouhai's footsteps. He was more than grateful for the kindness that he was offering him. In more ways than one, he couldn't help but feel the happiness well up inside him despite everything that was happening between him and Tezuka. As much as he knew that he wanted to be with him, see him, hear his voice and feel his touch; he knew what they needed right now was time apart.

Every time he closed his eyes he could visualize the way Tezuka was this morning, disheveled, disoriented and what's more, wiping his lips of what? He wasn't sure but he knew when Tezuka was flushed. And Tezuka was indeed flushed. He had seen that expression one too many times and it was something that he had held close to his heart; all those emotions that were usually amiss were fully on display this morning. It broke his heart.

He knew he was being childish, he knew he was being immature about the whole situation and for the first time in his life, he was running away from the problem. He was so scared of getting hurt. He was scared to look into those mesmerizing hazel eyes that he loved so much and have him tell him the truth, that he was indeed seeing someone else.

He wrapped his arms around his chest. It was cold tonight. Colder than he had expected it to be for an October night.

…

He stopped walking letting the voices and the laughter of those that passed by drift into his ears. He lightly chuckled. "October ka?" He whispered almost inaudibly.

Nagasaki noticed his senpai that had suddenly stopped following him through the crowd of people and turned around to look for him. Finding him halted with his head down amongst the crowd, he made his way towards him. He placed his hand on his shoulder, "Fuji-senpai?" Concern laced his voice when he didn't respond. He looked around and grabbed his wrist pulling him out of people's way. "Fuji-senpai?" He asked once more after pulling them towards a store corner. Nagasaki sighed, a frown forming on his lips. He had never seen his senpai so out of sorts. If it was one thing he knew about Fuji after working with him for so long was that he was the type to keep his pain hidden from people he wasn't comfortable with.

Throughout the years they had grown quite fond of each other yet at the same time annoyed one another, albeit, he never showed his annoyance in the way Fuji sometimes would. So he could vaguely pick up when something had bothered him, irritated him or angered him. It was something he was rather proud of but he knew he could only touch the surface of what was Fuji Syuusuke.

It was pathetic, he knew it was. Staying here feeling everything just crumble away before him after what? 10 years? 10 amazing years with a man he loved so very much. He wanted to think that Tezuka wasn't the type to cheat on him and for a long time he did think it. He was responsible, he was loyal and overall he was in love with him wasn't he?

Just like that, he had lost his one true love. "Fuji-senpai, it's so unlike you." That sentence alone had brought him back to reality. Maybe not because he was suddenly being shaken but because what he had said was true. His eyes widened and looked up at his kouhai that wore a smile on his face. "Finally I got you to look up." Fuji's shock was very evident now as he stood there, arms around his chest, head tilted to look at Nagasaki who was only a few centimeters taller than him. Nagasaki's smiled grew wider seeing a very first reaction to his senpai. "Come on." He said grabbing his wrist once again startling him.

Fuji felt a little hope grow within him. " _It's so unlike you."_ He smiled at the words that played back in his head. Yes, he was right. It was very unlike him to let this pain seep deeper than it should have. He loved Tezuka and he was most certain that he did not cheat on him. Tezuka would never do that to him and even if he did he was going to figure out with who and why.

Realizing that Nagasaki was holding onto him helping him through the crowd of people that were ready to get their night started, he pulled away causing his short haired kouhai to turn to look at him with worry. Perhaps thinking he was going to throw himself back into his reverie, Fuji threw him a smile, matching his footsteps now. A little relieved, Nagasaki smiled back. Sharp dark brown eyes, almost as if they were black, glanced down at the figure next to him. His senpai clad in only his business attire alone was enough to make him hunch over the way he was now in such cold weather. Suddenly he began digging into his bag all the while they kept walking. Fuji paid no mind to his kouhai and followed suit to wherever it was his home was.

"Senpai," Fuji glanced at him, feeling a warm and fuzzy object being placed on his shoulders. He blinked a little surprised then turned to look at Nagasaki in question. "I'm not cold. I carry this with me since it tends to get a little cold in the office from time to time. Please use it." He said putting his hands into his pockets.

Fuji's fingers grasped onto the cardigan that was a little big for him and smiled. "Thank you." He saw his kouhai nod at him.

The rest of the way had been quiet. It had been a silence filled with a slight awkwardness to it. Perhaps it was because this was the first time they had ever really been together outside of work, or maybe because they both hadn't gauged this amount of kindness for one another. Most of the time they were either arguing or sharing ideas. Fuji wasn't going to lie, he was very reliable. He considered him his assistant despite the fact he was only just a coworker of his, one that did a little too much than was probably supposed to. He was grateful to have met someone like him who was as dedicated to his job as he was to his.

"Here we are." He heard him say. Realizing they were standing in front of an apartment complex; he held onto the cardigan tighter than he should have. A sense of homesick fitting into the pit of his stomach but he immediately shook it off knowing that tonight, he wasn't going home. Nagasaki punched in a few buttons opening the entrance for Fuji to walk into the apartment complex. "It's not much but it's something." He said on their way to the 12th floor. "When I moved here I managed to find a friend of mine who was getting ready to live abroad. I got lucky and they offered me this place." He explained in the elevator. Fuji stared at the numbers atop the elevator door as it ascended higher.

Once they stepped out Fuji's face lit up. The view was gorgeous and it was only night time. He couldn't imagine what it would look like during the day. Him and Tezuka also lived in an apartment complex, probably a little more, no, a lot more extravagant than this one due to their income but this was actually very spectacular itself. Off in the distance he could see Tokyo tower and the many lights that decorated the night. It was nice to see something a little different than he was used to.

Nagasaki smiled at his expression and walked down towards his apartment all the way at the end of the hall with Fuji following closeby. After fishing out his keys from his bag, he turned the knob and let Fuji walk in first.

Blinded by darkness once he closed the door, he heard Nagasaki give out a nervous chuckle and moved around Fuji to turn on the light. He looked to his right realizing Fuji was so close to him, piercing azure eyes open in slight confusion and his fingers tightly holding onto his cardigan. His breath got caught in his throat just staring at his senpai. "Thank you for lending me your cardigan." He could practically feel the breath against his chest and then Fuji moved away slipping the cardigan off his shoulders.

He took in a deep breath, shook his head and nodded extending a hand out to take it from the other's hands. "O-of course." He quirked his eyebrow looking away, mentally cursing himself for reacting the way he did and began to take off his shoes. They were still only in the genkan and there wasn't really that much space for both of them. He quickly toed them off, walking past Fuji to take out his guest slippers and placed them down for him. "Senpai," He said extending his hand to grab his bag. Fuji looked up and simply told him it was fine where it was. "It would be better if it was inside." He grabbed it without allowing him to deny his offer and headed to the living room. "Welcome to my lovely place." He extended his hand out letting Fuji in.

Fuji began chuckling at his actions, "Maa, you're like a host." He said looking over the living room. It was spacious and well furnished. He had a very nice black bookshelf made out of wooden veneer. Some spaces were filled with comics, others with magazines, photo albums and novels. Right next to the bookshelf was a large TV set, he assumed it was probably about 50" in length, held by a beautiful unit that matched his bookshelf with the compartments filled in with all sorts of game consoles and a space filled with movies of various genres. Right in the center was glass coffee table that seemed a little out of sorts with the other two, maybe because it wasn't black like most of the furniture in his living room was. He had a hunch it was Nagasaki's favorite color. Overall it was very beautiful but yet simple and at the same time a cozy living space. Much unlike from his kouhai who was a tad bit vibrant.

"Would that mean I'm your client for the day?" Fuji joked walking towards the black couch that contained a sleeper section as well. He sat down in the middle feeling all his muscles relax. It was so comfortable, beyond than what he had imagined. He was starting to think that maybe Nagasaki didn't leave his house much and that was why it was so well organized with so much comfortability surrounding it. It was like his own personal den.

Nagasaki walked over to the couch placing Fuji's bag on the sleeper section portion, smiling at the way he had instantly closed his eyes and seeped into the couch. "I highly doubt I'm fit to be a host, senpai." He chuckled removing his blazer.

Fuji opened one eye, a bit too tired to open the other and peeked over at Nagasaki. "I think you could pull it off." He sat up mirroring the other's action as well, folding his blazer neatly onto the side. He caught a glance at a handheld device on the coffee table and eyed it for a while before turning to look at the others on the TV unit. "Do you like video games?"

Nagasaki turned to him following his line of sight and chuckled. "I tend to play on my days off. I don't necessarily play as much as I used to but I try to let off some steam from time to time." Fuji hummed in response, a smile lightly forming and he could've sworn he saw a slight sense of nostalgia form on his elegant facial features. He hung his blazer on a hanger and walked over to grab Fuji's. "Do you play senpai?" He asked cautiously, hoping it wouldn't exactly open up a can of worms and have him close up like he normally did.

Fuji rested his arms on his thighs leaning forward. "I used to. I had a friend in middle school who often would lend me his games. My brother and I would play from time to time." He opened his eyes revealing the piercing blue color behind his lids. Nagasaki tilted his head just a little realizing that Fuji was thinking of something from his past. Maybe he shouldn't have asked. Then it dawned on him. "Fuji-senpai, you have a brother?" They never really spoke much about each other even though they had known one another for about four years. It was only until now that he realized, aside from his sexuality, he knew close to nothing about his mysterious boss.

He let out a chuckle. "I have an older sister and younger brother."

"Eh, so you're the middle child." He hung up Fuji's blazer and went to sit down next to him. Fuji nodded. "That's nice."

Fuji nodded again and this time his expression changed a little to what seemed like sadness. He frowned, "Would you like some tea?" He offered getting up. He himself grew up around three siblings; he was used to playing the peacekeeper. He grew very fond of his skill in reading people although Fuji was one he couldn't read, he could tell he was thinking of something he wasn't fond of. He wanted to make sure he was comfortable. He wasn't sure what was going between him and his partner but for him to become so disoriented he could only do his best to be there for him. Fuji smiled at him softly whispering a yes and he stood up making his way to the kitchen.

After several minutes, he returned with a tray that held two cups of tea and placed them on the coffee table. "Here you go." He handed Fuji a cup and he gratefully accepted it.

"You're very kind." Fuji whispered holding onto the cup tightly, enjoying the warmth in his hands. Nagasaki simply let out a laugh and tried to cool his tea down. "I wanted to thank you for allowing me to stay here. I know it was sudden and none of your business but I had nowhere else to go and-"

"Senpai, please." He said cutting him off. Fuji looked down. "It's okay really. I wanna help as much as I can. You've been good to me and honestly," He paused taking sip nearly scalding his lips. "I've never seen you like this before. It worries me." He whispered placing his cup down.

Fuji furrowed his eyebrows at his sudden words. He had probably been a total mess this morning. He didn't want to be a burden to anyone and he didn't want to drag people into his problems. That was the last thing he wanted. "Please rely on me a little more senpai." He heard Nagasaki say. He wanted to, he truly did but he knew it was really none of his business. After Yuuta had so blantly stated that he was disgusting for liking men, after having even his best friend Saeki push him away as well, he wasn't sure he could trust so easily. He remembered vividly that night when Yuuta had walked in on him and Tezuka kissing in his room. He had came over to visit and once he saw them, he had left in an instant.

He had been so hurt, so much so that he felt hollow for many days after. Tezuka had been there for him, providing him with enough stability and assurance to get him through the days that followed. Yumiko even tried to talk to his brother but to no avail. Yumiko told him he was just being silly but he saw it as clear as day. The hatred in his brother's eyes almost as if he had betrayed him. It was so painful. He wasn't sure he could go through it again.

"I don't know what it's like," Nagasaki suddenly said bringing him once again back to reality. "Being with a man." He bit his bottom lip in fear of getting rejected again. "But," He paused. Fuji turned to him. "If you want to be with someone, why should sex matter?" His eyes widened and Nagasaki smiled. "It seems like it's ridiculous that you have to fall in love with just women. I'm sure if the right guy came up to me maybe even I could too." Nagasaki closed his eyes almost as if he was dreaming of that perfect guy.

Fuji smiled then chuckled and then started laughing. Nagasaki turned to him in shock. Fuji was laughing so hard that it was a first for him to hear. It sounded beautiful and at the same time so free. He always found Fuji's voice to be quite entrancing, he didn't know why but it was so. And now hearing him laugh he could feel his heart skip a beat. His face turned a slight red. Fuji placed his cup down to wipe away the tears that had begun to form along the corner of his eyes and sighed after his laughing fit. "It's impossible for you." He said while still chuckling. He felt his whole body becoming lighter. Almost as if a weight had been taken off. He hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. "I mean look," He said pointing at the magazines on his shelf. "You don't do well to hide it do you." Nagasaki broke out of his trance and suddenly his face turned an even darker shade of red. Fuji began laughing again at his reaction and this time fell onto the side of the couch holding his sides.

Nagasaki jerked back to look at Fuji continue his laughing fit and soon he too joined in. "I could you know!" He said while laughing. He laid back onto the backrest and sighed. "But honestly, senpai," he turned to look at Fuji. "I'm sure everything will turn out alright in the end." His smile warm and soft.

Fuji sat up and hugged him. Nagasaki froze. "Thank you." He whispered against his shoulder holding him tighter. He had no idea how much those words meant to him. He wouldn't tell him of his past because he knew it'd make him worry all the more. Instead he would try his best to actually rely on him a bit more than he did now.

* * *

 **A/N: I was very close to scrapping this. In fact, I was close to scrapping a few of my works mostly because I felt it wasn't exactly what I had hoped it to be. But then having people tell me to continue my works made me want to keep going so thanks for the encouragement! I'm not sure where I wanted this to go but now that I have finally gotten out of that awkward writing stage, I've decided I have a vague notion on where to go.**

 **I know this one is kind of long. I didn't intend it to be and I even rewrote it after reading the original one I had in mind to put up. So this one is freshly brewed just the way I like it. lololol xD**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed it. Love is much accepted :)**


	4. Dark Light

When Fuji woke up, it was dark. The room where he played just hours ago seemed so quiet now. He sat up feeling a little confused. The blanket that most likely Nagasaki had placed on him had fallen down and he looked at it. A small smile forming on his lips. He brought his knees up to his chest. It had been a while since he woke up alone, nonetheless on a couch.

Always had it been when something had gone wrong. Not because someone told him to, but because he didn't want to show his weakness in the face of others. He liked dealing with things on his own even though sometimes it wasn't the right choice.

The touch of another's touch, gone, the compassion he was used to was amiss. He ran a hand through his hair and felt the pain in his chest, the tears daring themselves to fall. How he wanted to be with him right now. How much he had desired him, missed him. He couldn't bring himself to accept the sudden way of things. He was hurt and alone.

He knew with time they'd revert back. Sometimes time apart built stronger bonds. But right now, it was excruciating.

He held in his breath as a single tear made it's way down his porcelain face. He looked up at the dark ceiling feeling more alone than he had ever felt. His heart in complete turmoil, his thoughts in a million places. Faintly he heard the sound of the wind howl. Just until then realizing how cold it was, how cold he was.

Where did he go wrong?

He shook his head wiping the lone salty drop. He knew where he went wrong. He berated himself; feeling the amount of sadness inside him grow, spreading like a tumor. He knew he was unfair towards Tezuka. He should've just spoken to him when things got worse at work. He knew he would listen but this was the consequence of keeping things to himself. He knew he had someone that could lift the weight off of him. That's what relationships were all about. Having someone there for you through it all… and yet, he took it for granted.

 _Him_ for granted.

Staring into the darkness of the room he felt some serenity in the darkness that enveloped him. Had he really cheated on him? He couldn't help but think of him to be the type. He was loyal and they had been together for so long.

The wind howled again just like the pain that came through him. He held his legs closer to himself. His body trembling. He wanted to be with him. Why couldn't they be together right at this moment. His heart ached, his body ached for his touch, his lips longing to be kissed.

His heart.

His body.

Silently he called himself pathetic at the amount of vulnerability he was exposing to the world. The cold dark world before him. He stood up walking over to the balcony.

He opened the curtains. Staring at the silent night before him, smiling. Placing his hand on the window, shivering at it's ice cold touch.

He slid his hand down to the door handle and slid it open. Like a hurricane, the wind burst in, the curtains flew back at the gust of wind that filled him and he smiled feeling a sense of escape. His bare feet taking steps forward, walking out onto the balcony. Feeling the cold October wind engulf him, he closed his eyes and sighed contently.

He was so cold.

The ice cold air penetrating him, the mad rush of air deafening him, the night sky blinding him. This was how he felt. He felt comfort in the cold blistering pain against his skin. His hair flying back exposing his forehead, his face and blissful closed eyes. The gust of wind died down and he was left with a sharp scent of the winter air on the horizon.

He loved winter. It was beautiful, serene and vast.

He slowly opened his eyes, staring at the night sky above, looking at the stars above. His eyes widening slowly.

 _Just like the gust of wind_

 _Everything bad comes crashing down_

 _Like a hurricane amongst simplicity_

 _Like a torrent stealing the simple senses_

 _Breath_

 _Touch_

 _Sound_

 _Words_

 _Scent_

 _All shielded and bound by the wind of bad comings_

 _But after the wind dies_

 _The sky will greet you with the beauty of the storm_

 _Shimmering the beauty of your life_

 _The stars will guide you_

 _Curate you_

 _And whisper to you that all will be well_

 _Light shines in the darkest of days_

 _Love is of the purest when perfect_

 _The bearer of bad comings comes from within_

 _Love is absolute_

 _The chaos has come and gone_

 _And the light between the two will hold you close_

He let out a chuckle turning around to head back inside and with one last glance he stared up at the many stars above. He nodded to himself.

All will be okay in the end.

The sliding door finally shut.


End file.
